Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Bon of a Sitch

Well I lost my wallet. For the second time since I been in NYC. Both times were in the worst possible situations.

The first time was after getting a haircut up in Harlem on the opening night of this little thing I did ON BROADWAY!! I came to NYC with a show in tow which is rare. This was our opening night which meant the performance was early so that we could hit the party afterwards (actually its early for the press). After waiting for a bit and finally getting in the chair, the actual haircut took 30 minutes longer than I expected. Suddenly, I find myself running down 125th St toward the 2/3 station. I have my hair freshly *quaffed. I have a bag full of shit - don't remember what on one arm and my rented lavendar tux complete with tophat on the other arm. I'm running down the street carrying all this and reach into my pocket to get my card for the, no wallet. Oh my God. Not only do I not have my subway card, my IDs were in there and some other things I can't get back. Not cash. But smaller things of sentimental value. I track back a little, but to no avail: I DROPPED IT ON 125TH STREET! I go down into the station hoping i have enough money for a $2 single ride. I put all the change i have in to the machine and I have...ahem...$1.95. I'm like "Someone, please help me. I only need a nickel." I sounded like a beggar so people walked by me or ignored me until the first woman who walked by must have replayed what I said in her head adn gave me a nickel.

The point is I lost my wallet on the street in Harlem.

Yesterday I was exhausted. I sometimes do that New York thing of falling asleep on the subway and waking up at my stop and jumping out of the car. Anyone, who has done this know its very disorienting. You are asleep and suddenly you are walking. I was on the train yesterday with my shoulder bag on my lap. I was holding my cell in one hand and my wallet in the other. I fell asleep. I get to my stop and jump out the car forgetting my wallet was on my lap. It wasn't until 20 minutes later that I realized I dropped it. Now, this is my theory of what happened. I assume this is what happened because it makes the most sense. I cancel my debit card. I'm gonna try to see if I can get my metrocard refunded.

The point is I lost my wallet on a subway train.

Some people freak out badly aobut something like that. I just let it go. I realized there was nothing I could do about it at that time and to freak out would serve no purpose. My New Age inclination tells me I was supposed to lose it for some reason. Maybe the reason is to feel shitty at a later date.

*quaff means to drink a beverage heartily. I really need to do more research when using other people's expressions.


Anonymous said...

you're an idiot
who the hell sleeps on the subway with their wallet in their hand?
and a lavender tux? please

Baron said...

Wow. I'm an idiot? Well its a normal thing that happens. Its called exhaustion. You've never been so tired that you fall asleep in transition? A plane, bus, train? Yes? Then shut it!!

Anonymous said...

no that's very stupid. i've never heard of anyone falling asleep w/their wallet & cellphone in their hands instead of safely stowed away. that is an airhead move.

hopefully you start #1 getting more sleep, and #2 being more careful of your belongings.

being jumpy & airheaded in NY is not gonna work! and avoid falling asleep on the subway at all costs. keep your wits about you at all times, or you will regret it.

Baron said...

well thank you stranger for calling me an airhead. if it was a crowded train i would have stayed awake, but i doubted 2 white women were gonna come after the things i had firmly cluthed in my hands. usually i have these thing in my pocket, but i was watching the time since i was running late. but thanks for the advice. i was pretty sure you could fall asleep anywhere in NYC and be okay. now i know and knowing is half the battle.

Anonymous said...

"my hair freshly quaffed"? someone DRANK YOUR HAIR?

or, yeah, did you mean "coiffed"? because that would be slightly more normal.

Robin "redbone" Cloud said...

i'm surprised you didn't get jumped for keeping your shit out in clear view?! I think i'm more concerned about that. The other night will riding the c train back to crown heights, these two teenangers waited for the train to stop and the doors to open and while exiting slapped a cd player right out of some poor chinese dudes hands..headphones and all..did i mention he was wearing them. you sure you're a new yorker..dag bro.

Baron said...

"Quaffed" I used an expression someone else used to describe my hair once. Should have looked up the definition. I'm such an airhead. Of all the things I've written I never thought this would draw so much criticism. I should stick to racial politics.

Benari said...

Damn, Baron. Coffee. Coffee.

You sure have stirred up quite a bit of controversy with your "falling asleep with your wallet in your hands" shenanagins!

I'm more concerned that this post is just a way for you to avoid talking about how you got fisted in your sleep on the subway.

Seriously, though. Coffee.

rachael said...

Am I the only one who thinks that you should blame the people who stole the shit? Yes, one needs to be careful, but theft is against the law.

Kyria said...

When I first moved to NY I would repeatedly take the subway home alone after drinking at a bar until 3 AM. I am baffled that nothing ever happened to me. Er, change "baffled" to "infinitely thankful".

Anonymous said...

I agree the person who called you an airhead. Not only are you an airhead, but you are the stupidest human being alive and you deserve to get your wallet stolen from you because only white Mid-Western transplants think its ok to hold their wallet and cell phone in their hands on a subway and think that its ok.

Furthermore, it doesnt matter if you were asleep or standing up, any New Yorker knows that you might as well have had a sign on your head saying "please steal from me". Shit, I would've taken your wallet just to teach you a lesson. You are no longer in Smalltown USA, honey so get with the program or have shit like that happen to you for an embarrasing third time.

And to think, you admitted that you didnt think that anyone would steal your wallet because the only people around you were two white women, as though white people do not steal. And judging from your false logic you probably assumed that because you were in Harlem with all the minorities running around, it wasnt a surprise that your wallet was stolen. Well let me put you up on some knowledge- people of all nationalities steal, even white people, and you are even stupider for not understanding this.

In conclusion, please do all of New York and yourself a favor and kindly leave..or at the very least, next time youre on a train, let us know which stop youre at so that all the readers of this blog can do YOU a favor and steal your ignorance from you as well.

Oh, and to the girl who thinks that the people who stole your wallet are to blame, well of course they are. Stealing is wrong, but so is ignorance and more importantly racism, none of which should be tolerated

Thank you.

cupcakegrrl said...


Baron, I think what's going on in this posting is worse than having your wallet stolen. Who would think that posting something so utterly innocuous would lead to such venomous attack?

Personally, though, I'd like to thank the most recent anonymous poster. I've often pondered the relative offensiveness and importance of ignorance and racism. Sometimes I've thought, "Ignorance is worse." Other times, I've thought, "No, no--it's definately racism." Not until I read the previous post was the matter made clear for me.

So then, this is the heirarchy of offensiveness:

Worst: racism
Next bad: ignorance
After that: stealing.

Somewhere in that lineup ought to sit "Writing holier than thou comments while cloaking oneself in anonymity." But until the all-knowing previous poster clues me in, I'm not sure where on the list that goes.

cupcakegrrl said...

|Oh, and where are my manners? I must have dropped them on 125th street!

"Thank you."

Anonymous said...

I am the poster of the previous anonymous blog and really I think I've said enough about Baron's situation. However, I would like to point out that the reason this blog is getting so much attention, or so I believe, is because had a link to it on their website with a few humorous comments attached. This, for one, is how I found this blog. I do not know who Baron is nor do I have an account with this site, however, after reading this blog many of Baron's comments angered me so I decided to write a response to them. I posted anonymously because I didnt feel like filling out any information to join the site. Damn, seems like my actions fall somewhere in between racism and ignorance, huh?

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