Which is it?

Am I pushing people to not want to talk to me anymore or are they pushed to that? Like they just feel like that no matter what I say? Its an issue of something I've always thought about since high school: intention vs perception. What I mean to say vs. how its being taken. I have little control over how its being taken. If I'm talking to a person that's predisposed to receive what I'm saying as an attack, they're gonna react to me like I just took a swing at them.

It reminds me of "World Views" which I think is a Meisner thing. Its a view a character has of everyone around them like "Eveyone is just a little bit dumber tham I am" or "Everyone is out to get me." I think a lot of people in 2006 have the view of "Everyone is out to get me." Somehow I got into an arguement with someone I care about and it ended with "I can't talk to you about this anymore. Peace." Maybe what I was saying was harsh or "too real" as they say. I don't know, but i don't like being the bad guy. I don't like that she's probably thinking, "Man, Fuck, Baron." And not in the good way. Like she's commanding some whore slave to do my bidding. But the bad way. Like I'm gonna have darts thrown at a picture of my face to blow off steam.

This is a new potential bit based on a convo with friend Josh Grosvent...

Stand Up is one of the few things people think they can just do and be brilliant. Its an art. It takes years to master it and even longer to get recognized. I was watching HBO and they showed a preview of "Tourgasm" a new show starring Dane Cook. The voiceover reffered to Dane Cook as "hot new comedian" UMMM, Dane Cook has been doing stand up for 16 years!!! But in stand up years you're still reffered to as a new comedian. That's the perception that makes Dingleberry Joe from the office, or dealership, or time share who can make his friends and family laugh think he can walk on stage once and walk off with a $100,000 development deal with a major network. Amazing comedians can make it look like they are coming up with the shit right there. It takes them nearly a decade to make it look easy. There's usually someone in the audience that goes, "Hey that's easy. I should be getting paid for this." That doesn't happen with other professions that take a certain a level of skill, education and talent to do.

"Yeah, I think I'm gonna go be a concert violinist. Yeah, I been watching PBS, saw some guy playing and it looks pretty easy. I figure I'll go pick one up tomorrow and go be the first chair of the New York Philharmoic the next day."

"Yup, thing i'm gonna be a city planner. yeah, I've seen a lot of cities on TV, even lived in a few and I could totally do that better. I mean how hard can it be? I just put up a few buildings and pave some roads, right?"

Then again where would we be if some drunk guy didn't go "You know what seems like an easy job? President. I'm gonna go be the President."