Thursday, August 03, 2006

posters on the train

I find it ok to not take reading with me on the subway when i ride around the city. I like to people watch and there's always plenty of reading on the walls of the cars. They're usually easy to see because THE ENTIRE WALL IS PLASTERED WITH THE SAME AD. Here's 2 that caught my eye today.

"of course new york is cool. it has millions of air conditioners"

this is an ad for the ever infamous Con Edison. um, excuse me, ConED, new york ISN'T cool. remember how there was a POWER OUTAGE? Some called it a BLACKOUT and called themselves FUCKED. remember how sometimes random people get ELECTROCUTED because of a seemingly careless approach to handling live wires? yeah, not cool.

another ConED ad reads

"we're on it. under it. inside it. through it. above it. across it."

ah. poetry. nice to see that ConED hired Robert Pinsky, Maya Angelou, and ee cummings to collarborate on that piece of art. It actually sounds more like a threat to me. sounds like a serial rapist describing what they're gonna do to their next victim. which, of course, will be an altercation that conlcudes with electrocution.

which brings me to another point: why is ConED advertising? is there some competition i don't know about? some power company that won't accidentally kill people and have power outages occur? no? well guess you gotta do something with all that money.

I've been seeing a lot of ads for Jesus for Jews. What happened to Jews for Jesus? Is it the same organization that wanted an image change? Is it someone different? Or is it just that and .org were already taken? Damn 15 year olds.

It's good that they changed the name cuz one of them implies that Jesus is worshipping the Jews.

Now I don't mean to make fun or what someone believes, but yes I do.

Here's 2 ads I liked by them

"Pursuing truth is a noble thing. But what if it leads you to an unpopular belief that might be misunderstood by those you care about the most?"

Hmm. An unpopular belief? Christianity? Last I checked (and I do check) its pretty popular. But you are talking about the Jews. Maybe its not popular amongst them. Usually Christianity isn't popular becuz they are busy being Jewish. Gets in the way of your daily allowance of Jesus.

"Often our culture dictates what we're willing to consider. But truth knows no such limits. Shlomy can tell you."

And the man pictured as the Israeli Shlomy looks exactly like an Israeli named Shlomy.

You guys got me JeJews! I'm gonna convert to Judaism then convert to something that sits strangely between Christianity and Judaism that manages to be scarier than both! Yay! There is a light at the end of the tunnel! Oh wait, that's just because we're being held in the station.


HughE2030 said...

Every morning when I take my local to work, I stand near the express doors of the car and I read about Anheuser Busch being the best beer for NYC. Then as we approach 42nd street I fo to the otherside of the train and stand near the local door, and read about how much money I can save at Bank of America. But when I ride the A, C, or E trains, where for some reason they still advertise the old mish mash of ads, I have no idea what I read. Hmm I guess those damn advertisements work.

Audrey said...

Baron, this was so funny! Here in Chicago we have the honor of not just reading ads for Jews for Jesus, but actually getting to meet "members" (what to call them??) in person, as the group has blanketed this fair city with naives who don't know any better.

I've never understood what this group is. A stepping stone for Jews who secretly want to be Christian but have mothers who would have a heart attack if we converted?? And why do they only seem to come out in the summer?

Kyria said...

That Shlomy one gets me EVERY time.

It's like, "Take it from a real Jew! How real? My fucking name is Shlomy. BOOM!"


Ms. Abrahams

Anonymous said...

You don't see them all over New York too? They do a huge campaign during the month of July all over the country.

Also, not to dork out in your comments, but they own every single version of the web address involving the words "Jews" and "Jesus"--the new name was to deflect people's attention from the fact that yes, they are those very same nutcases we're used to.

HughE2030 said...

Last week the Jesus for Jews had a mini parade with police escort through Times Square at about 8PM Saturday night. They are full out recruiting. Although more offensive in Times Square was the chick with the sign that said Only Catholics go to Heaven.

Kyria said...

That is true about the Catholics, though.

The Sola Pro said...

"sounds like a serial rapist describing what they're gonna do to their next victim."

omg i about died when i read that.
the first time i saw that ad that is exactly what i thought, i was like hi, this ad does not make me feel safe.

Big Bill said...

Jew for Jesus are going to "convert" you? Sugar you have to BELIEVE in something befor you can "convert" to something else. "Reform" is Yiddish for "Unitarian". Why on earth do you think Rabbi Tendler calls you "neo-Christians". And a Reform "conversion" is so worthless that Israel will not even recognize them.

And that's the real problem. If you really aren't a Jew to begin with, ANY other belief is theatening.

Anonymous said...

Bill, Shlomy can tell you.

leatherargento said...

As a member of the Conservative Movement of Judaism (the one that traditionally sees itself as being "between" Reform and Orthodox), I'd like to extend a sincere apology to the rest of the human race for the not-funny and rabidly-insecure rant that big bill spewed forth up there.

As a Jew who did most of her growing up in not-New-York-City, Not-New-York, I can tell ya', what we Jews REALLY need right now is MORE INFIGHTING. Boo. Yah. Ay-menn.

Anyway, so far as I can see, the Jews for Jesus believe in the same thing all subway-based religions believe in: Salvation Through the Forcing of "Funny" Pamphlets Upon the Unwilling Working Man and Woman.

I think that, if Jesus really is the Messiah, (H/h)e'll come down and tell all those pamphleteers that they're not saved because they wasted (H/h)is forests on their mindless cult crap.