Pussy Control!

This is a rap I wrote as commissioned by Sara Schaefer for her show Video Gaga. I don't know if we're gonna have the time to do it by monday, but I wanted to share cuz I'm pretty proud of this.

These are 3 gangsta cats that call themselves "Pussy Bandits." DJ Tabby Tab, Kal E Koe, and Scat Kat 2.0. So enjoy their number 1 hit "Motherf&#%er, I'm a CAT!"

DJ TABBY TAB:
I’m a cat motherfucker
You a dog my bitch
I gotta itch you better scratch
‘fo I put you in a ditch
cuz I’m a mean mother fucker
I’m a bad ass Tabby
I shot Rin Tin Tin
And impregnated Lassie
Better get checked for rabies and scabies
Its ok, the dirty ho will have cat-dog babies
Fuck her I don’t want nutin to do wit’em
She bring ‘em to me, I’m a spit and hit ‘em
I’ll split and quit’em. I’ll shit and forget ‘em
And I'll Find a cardboard where I can fit ‘em
Then I mail to China cuz that’s what I do
I’m a Gangsta C-A-T so fuck you!
They’ll be Siamese if they please, what what?
You want to get me fixed? Well you can suck dese nuts!
You best step the fuck back
Cuz I be callin the shots
I’m a kitty cat and you’re not!

(chorus)
Mother Fucker I’m a CAT!
Here kitty kitty kitty,
Here kitty kitty kitty
Mother Fucker I’m a CAT!
Here kitty kitty kitty
Motherfucker this is where its at!
Motherfucker I’m a CAT
Here kitty kitty kitty,
Here kitty kitty kitty
Mother Fucker I’m a CAT!
Here kitty kitty kitty
Mother fucker this is where its at!

KAL E KOE:
I’m “Tyrannus” and you’re “Sic Semper”
I’m gonna give you some distemper
Gonna pop your bubble like the Hindenburg blimp
You’ll be walking like Rick Moranis with a limp
“Meow” That’s what I say to get the pussy
I’m hypnotic melodic like I’m Claude DeBussy
Got a line of fine feline all down the street
Cuz I got the ice to handle girls in heat
And they purr so sweet
Cuz I’m so complete
I rub they feet, I’m so discreet
I’m treat those women like the Mix that I love to eat
Fuck a litter box, I’ll shit and piss where I likey
In you silk dress socks and your Air Jordan Nikes
If you annoy me, boy, I’ll fuckin piss on your bed
You can’t destroy me, I’ll even shit on your head.

(coughs up a hair ball for a bit. The music stop until it comes out. Goes straight into…)

SCAT KAT 2.0:
I’ll kill your schemes
I’ll stab your dreams
I’ll eat your spleen
I’m a freaky fiend
I’m picking up steam
I’m not what I seem
You tryin to ride my stream
But its too extreme
I gleam and I team with the mean fucking teens
To redeem the regime of the streets and the scenes
So unclean, makes you scream what you see
When the beams shine your sheen
You will flee climb a tree need codeine
Set the scene, and esteem what I be
You can’t escape me
Or fucking mind rape me
Cuz I move and I shake, see?
Fuck you old lady!
Mufasa and Simba got nothing or me
Cuz I’m motherfuckin C-A-T!


Mother Fucker I’m a CAT!
Here kitty kitty kitty,
Here kitty kitty kitty
Mother Fucker I’m a CAT!
Here kitty kitty kitty
Motherfucker this is where its at!
Motherfucker I’m a CAT
Here kitty kitty kitty,
Here kitty kitty kitty
Mother Fucker I’m a CAT!
Here kitty kitty kitty
Mother fucker this is where its at!

(Chorus repeats and then it cuts to the “Meow Meow” Meow Mix song)