Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Suger Plums Dancing in my Head

Everybody has had a dream about their profession. I wouldn't even say that, just whatever job they have (not necessarily a profession). I've dreamt about the office when I worked at one. I dreamt about CompUSA when I worked there; dreams about 3 headed customers coming in asking for things that don't exist then breathing fire and asking for a manager when I could not assist them (not far from the truth).

Many comics will attest to the fact the we not only dream about performing, but we dream jokes. I had this one dream where I was doing stand up at the church I grew up going to and there were some unruly audience members. I decided to "handle" them at the top of my set and the whole audience walked out on me except one middle aged blonde woman who put her back to me.

The other night I dreamt a joke I thought I might actually be able to use. Its a different sort than I usually dream which are absurd non sequitors (once I dreamt jokes about being a goat farmer that consisted of inside jokes about goat behavior)

Here's a joke I dreamt the other night....

I...uh...I was talking to a friend the other day trying to make some plans and I asked what he was doing that night and he said "oh you know, i'm probably gonna stay in, smoke a joint, read a book." And that made my head almost explode. Smoke a joint and THEN read a book? Are you sure thats the right order to do that? I'm sorry, I never saw the research papers about weed being a education enhancer...oh wait, THEY DON'T EXIST. I can't imagine that situation. Sitting down with a bong and a book. Smoking up and then ripping into Dostoevsky. "Wow, I think I finally understand what he trying to say here. He saying...wait...I'm losing me high (smoke smoke) ah yes I see it again." That's not what happens! You'd be sitting there scared the Brother's Karamazov are gonna jump out of the book, put you in a sleeper hold, and eat the rest of your Doritos. That, my friends, is tragedy.


Max Silvestri said...

A friend of a friend, while he was in a sketch comedy group, once dreamt that he'd written the best sketch in the entire world, so good that it changed comedy forever. Here is the sketch he wrote:

Two men in suits slowly start walking towards each other from opposite ends of the stage. Just as they begin to pass each other, Man 1 says, "Hello." Man 2 replies, "Hello...JEW." And they keep walking.


Gold, huh? My dream jokes have made a lot less sense, but a few times, the jokes I told people in my dreams were so hilarious that people were ripping the carpet off the floor they were laughing so hard. It was like that dream sequence in Dumb and Dumber where Jim Carrey is the life of the lodge party.

I'm an egomaniac in my dreams.

Anonymous said...

But seriously... reading when you're high is pretty intense. Of course, so is everything else...