Thursday, February 23, 2006

Ways they get you...

I didn't write for a while because I liked that last post so much I had to let it sit.

Very few offices have restrooms that are easily accesible. I don't know how many offices I've been to were I'm told "Oh yeah, go down this hall then take a left then another left then another left. Then you'll see a portal. Jump into it. You'll feel a slight popping sensation in your ears which is your body moving through the wormhole. Then you'll see a giant mushroom field with a catepillar sitting on one smoking dope. He'll ask you who you are, but just say you're there to use the bathroom."

Alright, that's an exaggeration, but you know what I mean. Very rarey do you ever hear "Right outside." Next time you get directions to the potty notice the sense of self the person telling you feels. You might feel a bit of vertigo while listening to them rattle off the various turns and landmarks you may have to pass. It makes you go "Huh? What? I'm so confused...walls spinning...lights flashing...indentity slipping away..." Next thing you know you work there. You've somehow been hornswaggled into working there for longer than you want for less than you're worth.

The moment you know where the restroom is without having to think about it brings a sense of belonging. That's how they get you. You tell someone else where the restroom is and all of a sudden you're rattling off the things you once didn't understand. They come out of you effortlessly and it feels like you're outside of yourself watching yourself tell some ignorant visitor about the portal and the ear popping. Then you feel like you belong and you stay there for 10 years. That's one of the ways the get you.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

i temp'd this week in a place where the only way anyone could get to the bathroom was for me to buzz them thru a door that stood across the room from my desk. so what happened if i needed to go?? i had to wait until someone came to "relieve" me. ha ha. not funny. i couldn't wait--i had to go. so i had to push the buzzer under my desk and run like hell as if trying to roll under a closing trap door on Inspector Gadget. Talk about Mission Impossible. It took me three tries.

Anonymous said...

brillant...